Where'd I Leave Off

Ignoring all the school stuff and my personal life crap, I decided to update my readers on the actual important things about me that have changed since my last post:

1. I have a new blog!! tvstalker.blogspot.com. Come read my thoughts about TV shows. My friend Meggan and I will be sharing posting responsibilities.

2. I "wooo". This voluntary declaration of joy is my new favorite thing. As my friend Barney said "A woo can be elicited many different ways-- from a certain song coming on the jukebox, to half-priced shots, from a ride on a mechanical bull, to...well, pretty much anything." And I do pretty much "wooo" for anything, such as: coverbands playing Britney Spears, hearing "Gangsta Paradise" at a discoteca, scoring above failing on an exam, getting out of class early, finding out that Sprinkles sells gluten-free cupcakes and the list goes on...

3. Gluten Free. A lot of celebrities seem to be gluten free and it sounded like a really fun time, so I decided to join. That and the pain in my stomach after consuming (and by consuming, I mean shoveling food down my throat as fast as humanly possible) any wheat product became too much to bare.

4. I cook. After taking a week off from life to mourn gluten, I picked myself back up and decided to start cooking instead of glaring at the delicious bakery items at Whole Foods and asking the help if I could just hold the cupcake again. Just for a second. I think I also started creeping out my friends by asking if they could please describe to me how that sourdough bread tastes in as much detail as possible. So instead, now I cook.

5. Sleeping. If you don't know about my love of sleeping then you probably don't know me. I have hit some pretty big milestones in the sleep department lately. There was the time I slept for 15 hours (waking up once to wizz and eat string cheese). And most nights before a big test, while all my follow colleagues are cramming, I try to be in bed by 7pm. Unless Amazing Race is on, then I extend to 8pm. But no later.
6. The 7-9am block. While most people I know are sleeping during this time period, I am enjoying my favorite part of the day. Since I do enjoy going to bed early (preferably before it is even dark out), I am generally wake before 7am. Since my class and l abwork don't begin until 9, that gives a good 2 hours to "start the day off right." I usually start with a little Chelsea Lately and then get most of the way through whatever Vh1/E!/MTV/Bravo show aired the night before that I missed because the show airs in the no bueno "double digits" time period (anything after 10).

7. Showtime. Since I don't really enjoy participating in activities that force me to wear pants, adding another channel to my cable lineup seemed like a logical idea. I am now catching up on United States of Tara, Nurse Jackie, The Tudors, and Tracey Ullman while watching amazing films like The World is Not Enough and Charlie Bartlett. Worth every penny.

Embracing Texas

Since I am going to be a Dallasite (Dallasinian? Dallasan?) soon, I decided to stop complaining (okay not really) and embrace my new home state. I have taken to the interweb and made some great discoveries about my new home...

Dallas is the birthplace of some great celebs, including Aaron Spelling, Demi Lovato (not sure who she is but she is famous and thus important), Jesse Plemons (Landry from Friday Night Lights), Josh Henderson (don't pretend like you don't know who that is), Lacey from Rock of Love (awesome!!), Lane Garrison (who know...the guy from Prison Break who killed someone), Meat Loaf (I always thought he was British...probably because he ran around a castle with a cape on), Peter Ostrum (Charlie form the original Willy Wonka), Tara Conner (did you hear MTV might bring back Singled Out with her in the Jenny McCarthy/Carmen Electra role?), and Vanilla Ice ("no...there's was da da da dada don don and my beat is da da dadada don don"). Also, Kourtney Kardashian went to college in Dallas. And Jessica Simpson and President Bush live there.

And not only is Dallas home to celebs, some excellent movies and TV shows have been filmed there, including Debbie Does Dallas (duh), RoboCop, Barney & Friends (who knew?), Wishbone, Batman & Robin, Boys Don't Cry, and Office Space.

The record high is only 112 degrees.

The Dallas County Sheriff is a lesbian.

The Ritz-Carlton in Dallas was named 2009 Best US Hotel and restaurant inside was named 2009 Best US Hotel Restaurant. Thanks Zagat!

Dallas is home to 15 billionaires, placing it 9th worldwide among cities with the most billionaires.

I will be living 5.8 miles from the nearest Waffle House and 2.2 miles form the nearest Whole Food.

Dallas...I am on my way.

I Shouldn't Be Allowed to Shop Online

I figured that since I will be spending most of my life in a lab, I needed clothing that shows how much I love science, especially evolution. So maybe I bought these shirts off Etsy this weekend:

Steven Does Dallas

After exciting trips to UT Southwestern, University of Texas, UC Davis and University of Utah I have finally made my decision. And it was not an easy decision. Dallas was great because I got to see my brother Matt and his wife Meagan and the world headquaters for Chuck E. Cheese. It is down the street from where they live.

Davis was also a great visit. The best part of the trip was seeing my family and friends. My sister and Dad came down one morning to have brunch and it turns out my 15-year-old sister and I have the same sense of style because we were wearing almost identical sweaters. At one point someone even stopped us and asked if we had coordinated our outfits. And yes, she is taller than me. And yes, we are looking at rescue dogs at a Farmer's Market.

To help with this decision-making process, I made the largest pro-con list ever. However this list was only in my head because I did not want this list to get out and thus be judged according to my priorities. (So what if proximity to a Target Supercenter was a big factor?) But anywho...looks like I will be moving to Dallas this summer to start at UT Southwestern!

Why April Will Be The Greatest Month Ever:

4/3: Premiere of 4 Fast 4 Furious. New model. Original Parts.

4/8: Lily Allen concert
4/8 New season of Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Dual II
4/9 The Ting Tings concert
4/14- Britney Spears Concert
4/15 Dooce's book signing
4/15 Lupe Faisco concert
4/21 Franz Ferdinand concert
4/22 Earth Day and release of the movie Earth. I almost cried in the trailer.


I can't wait!

"Quit laughing at me or I'll kill you"

Well, 1 down...3 to go. In my neverending quest to finally leave Provo (seriously...I think I have left for good like 5 times now), I had my first interview for a PhD program at the Universiy of Texas at Austin. And I use the term "interview" loosely because my three interviews with faculty members consisted of chats about Mad Magazine, divorces, and beer.

But overall I really liked the city and the school. I especially liked my day with my buddy Danielle, the Tex-Mex food we shared, and Dualing Piano Bar. But mostly, I like the activities that Austinites participate in. Their time is spent either sitting and listening to music, sitting and watching movies, sitting and eating, or sitting and talking about "life" (music, food, movies, art). And if there is anything I excel at in this life it is: sitting, listening, watching, eating, and talking. So I feel that I could really fit in with Austinians.

However, I have a few complaints. First, I understand how much you love the University. It is a great campus. However, I think it is time ya'll stopped buying all your clothes at the athletic shop on campus. By the end of my three-day trip, I was really to kill the next person I saw wearing a orange shirt with longhorns.


Second, this might not be so much Austin's fault as just a problem with bars and restaurants in general, but can we please just call the bathrooms Men's or Women's? At this one bar, I saw only one bathroom door and it was labeled "Does." I really had to think for second if I was a doe because doe sounds like dude. Turns out, I was a buck. At another bar, I almost walked into "Gulls" because it sounded like guys...but turns out I am a Buoy.

My exciting tuh-rip ended with an outrageous flight home. I settled into my seat and opened up my magazine to read about how fat Jessica Simpson is (Two belts? Mom jeans? Really?). At this point almost everyone had boarded and all the overhead bin space was full. This gentleman (who obviously had the same stylist Nick Nolte used for his mugshot) then boarded the plane and tried to find room in the overhead bin for his garbage bag.


The Utahn sitting across from me jokingly said maybe he should try putting his stuff on the wing. To which Crazytrain responded by saying, "Quit laughing at me or I'll kill you." Needless to say, Homeboy was escorted off the plane while yelling "Where are you taking me?" "What are you going to do with me?" and "Is this because of the ethnicity of my skin?" (he was white).

All I can say is, if all my trips are this exciting, I am in for 3 more awesome weekends.

What I've Been Doin' and Where I'm Goin'

During my Christmas break (which in my mind should extend to the week after MLKJ day, which is why I have abandoned my blog until now), besides taking a pyramid photo shoot with my siblings...
...my parents pulled me aside to ask when I would finally start getting a real paycheck. This encounter was almost as great as last Christmas' parental intervention when my mom offered the diamonds from her old wedding ring to me...if I should propose anytime soon.

So in my pursuit to finally get a PhD and finally get a real job, I will be spending four upcoming weekends touring some of this country's best campuses. One week from now I will be in Austin, TX...2 weeks from now Dallas, TX...4 weeks from now Davis, CA...and 5 weeks from now Salt Lake City (I am counting this as a trip because I am getting a hotel room). Not only are all the trips free (I am even getting reimbursed for my gas to the airport and parking expenses), but I also have people to visit in each city. Dani in Austin, my brother and sister-in-law in Dallas, my family and friends in Davis, and...okay SLC doesn't count for this one.

And on another note, what do I wear to these things? A suit and tie? Slacks and a button up? An Affliction tee with Ed Hardy jeans? A snuggie?

Young at Heart

Last night, my oldest brother Ken was telling his 3-year-old son Shane a bedtime story. In this story Ken was telling Shane that his Daddy, Uncle Matt, and Uncle Steven were all once little boys too but then grew up and went to college. At this point, Shane knew something wasn't right about this story and felt the need to interrupt and correct my brother.

"No Daddy...Steven doesn't go to college. He is still a kid like me."

What can I say...the kid knows me.

That time I thought I died...

In honor of my BFF Stephanie...since this is her favorite story about moi...


Once upon a time, Steven spent his summer of 2006 pretending to study in London. I say pretend because I only spent an hour a week in a classroom. Or less. A few days before I was suppose to fly home, the plot to blow up the planes flying from Heathrow to the U.S. was uncovered. It is because of this plot that we still cannot travel with liquids. Stupid terrorists. We were warned that the terrorists might try a different plot in London that day, so we should avoid the Tube. Since all my London friends had homework and studying, I took off by myself and had a nice little lazy walk around London. So I was walking around the city...on a street that looked like this...


My nerves were a bit heightened because of all this excitement. I suddenly heard a funny noise and turned around to see this big truck driving real fast down a narrow street. Right as the trunk was driving by me, I heard a noise that sounded like a gunshot and right then something really hard nailed me right in the back. I thought for sure I was dying. I reached around my back trying to find the blood and hole that surely was just made at the base of my spine. I kept waiting for my life to flash before my eyes and for the blackness to engulf me.

So...turns out...the truck drove over a water bottle causing the bottle to explode and the cap to hit me square in the back. Well that is what the strangers behind me told me when they stopped laughing.

And yes, as I was dying, my only thought was...I wish I watched more TV.

Life, Libertyland, and the Pursuit and Happiness

This past weekend I was able to see the Statue of Liberty, Mt. Rushmore, and the Washington Monument all without leaving Utah County. Now where could one go to see all these great sites?

LIBERTYLAND!

So if you happened to be driving on I-15 Saturday afternoon, then yes...that was me riding a roller coaster through Mt Rushmore. If you haven't been, now is the time to go. For $12, you can ride the Rush-Coaster twice, take a spin around the go-cart track, and still have enough tickets left to experience Freedom Fall. And by going on these rides, you will see ever person that works at the park...all 3 of them. The gal who worked the lever on the Freedom Fall was the same gal who pulled the lever on the slurpee machine.

My sister, cousin, and I decided we needed a full redneck day so we also went to Cabela's or as I like to call it "IKEA for hicks." Have you been there? This place has:

Fish tanks

Fake animals


George W. Bush


A shooting gallery


And lots of orange!

Now I don't wanna hear anyone complain about how there is nothing to do in Utah ever again!!

T.P. Crew

On Thursday, I decided to take a little break from my lab and run up to Thanksgiving Point to visit the J. Crew Warehouse Sale. I thought I could find a little striped or argyle beauty to add to my sweater family. Unfortunately, this warehouse sale was a major disappointment, because:

1. All the clothes looked so sad. If these same clothes had been placed on clean hangers instead, I probably would have bought more. Nothing looks good thrown into a cardboard box.

2. I cannot search for clothing. I am the worst bargain shopper. The clothes need to be placed right in front of me. My hunter/gatherer skills are just shot.

3. I have never seen so many Utah moms in one place. I cannot even begin to count all the conversations I overheard that began,"Oh my gosh, I saw on your blog..." And of course, all these moms brought their little Joyellens, Starlenes, and Brextons with them and let them run all around the store. A little Johoshua even tripped me up as I reached for a marlin swimsuit.

However, my luck changed when I found the perfect pair of sweatpants...blue, soft, and comfortable. Since I practically live in sweats, I thought these would be the perfect purchase. And they were only like $3.75.

For the rest of the day at work, all I could think about was slipping into my plush sweatpants. So the second I walked into my home, I ran into my bedroom and threw them on. But my hand suddenly felt something in my pockets. Something that was much rougher than normal pocket lining...

A KLEENEX!! BUT NOT ANY KLEENEX.....A USED, WADDED-UP, GROSS TISSUE!!! WITH STAINS!

I swear...I almost threw up! My first instinct was to throw the sweatpants into a fire and take a long shower to wash the dirty off. As my friend Rachel Zoe would say "I came THIS close to losing it today." Although I guess it wasn't a total waste. The nice mom standing in line with me gave me a 10% off coupon for friends. I am not sure why she didn't give it to her to buddy Raynette, but whatever.

TAG

Yippee! I love tags. Now I have something to blog about.

8 TV shows I watch:

1. 30 Rock (it isn't currently on...but Season 2 on DVD is)
2. Top Chef (also not currently on...but I am super amped for the new season)
3. Brothers & Sisters
4. Gossip Girl
5. Chuck
6. Mad Men
7. The Soup
8. Anything on the Food Network. Like Paula's Home Cooking, Barefoot Contessa, Ask Aida...
And the list goes on and on. Like seriously. I could easily list 30 shows here.

8 Things that happened yesterday:
1. Made an AFLP gel for work and ran some great samples
2. Had lunch at the MOA
3. Bought myself a laptop!! The new MacBook.
4. Planned a potluck for work
5. Voted! Filled out my absentee ballot
6. Tried to catch up on all my TV shows for the week
7. Made chicken and couscous for dinner
8. Let Meggan do laundry

8 of my favorite places to eat:
1. Bajio's

2. Mimi's for brunch
3. Kneaders
4. Guru's
5. India Palace
6. Cafe Rio
7. Any Thai place
8. Pendulum Court. I work on campus okay? Don't judge.


8 things I'm looking forward to:
1. Election Day. So all the insanity will stop.
2. Monday...Chuck & Gossip Girl? Doesn't get better.
3. Watching all the shows backlogged on my Tivo.
4. My laptop arriving in a few days.
5. Seeing my nephew next week
6. Seeing half of my family next month
7. The Killers and Britney's upcoming albums
8. The new Bond movie! Nov 14th!



8 things on my wish list:





1. Getting into PhD schools
2. More sweatpants and slippers
3. Bajio's delivering their food
4. A trip to Boston to visit my buddies
5. A higher thyroid dosage so I can eat more and not get plus-size
6. The ability/desire to wake up early
7. More $$$
8. Sitting in sweats all day watching TV and eating the popcorn my Mom sent me...oh wait...already doin' it

What I <4

"Why 4? Cuz it's more than 3..."

While I am not at work analyzing AFLP gels or setting up field experiments...
...this are the things I am currently lovin':

Remembering how great Chuck and Samantha Who are:
"It's not happening if you don't look at it. Like poverty."

Listening to my favorite artist of the moment, Santogold:
Which I fell in love with thanks to the awesome music found weekly on Gossip Girl (seriously...get this album):
Talking like Rachel Zoe:


"You're shutting it down..."

And obsessing over the fact that I am the same age as the old people on teen shows:Seriously, I am a few months older than the teacher on the show. Next thing I know, I will be the same age as the 30-year-old parents of the 16-year-old characters on these shows. Awesome.

Cuz I Don't Want to Miss a Thing...

My little family (which did consist of myself, argyle sweaters, polos, DVDs and 6 open Burt's Bees chapsticks), expanded this week to welcome a new little baby: TiVo!It is a decision we all have been thinking about for awhile. I had to assure my DVDs , especially the West Wing seasons, that even though our family is growing, I will continue to find time for them.

But on the plus side, I can now watch every show on my own time! No more watching missed episodes of 30 Rock or Brothers & Sisters online with commercials. As I type this, TiVo is making sure I am not missing one second of Paula Deen cooking pork chops with 3 lbs of butter, Joel McHale ridiculing the The Hills girls ("it was a hamster...now it's a guinea pig"), or Tyra actin' a fool on any of her 5 shows.

It is going to be a great Fall season! I am referring to both the argyle sweaters I can wear AND the shows I can record.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

In my new capacity as a Visiting Research Associate, I will be spending more time out of the lab and in the field. My first opportunity to journey into the wild came last week on a little trip to Southern Utah, Arizona, and Nevada. Now at first, I was a bit worried about this trip because 1. I had no idea what to wear (went with Banana shorts and an Urban top) and 2. I am not exactly an outdoorsy-type of person. I knew I was the odd man out when I was the only person on this trip not wearing Chacos and carrying a Naglene bottle. But the trip could not have gone better.

The main focus of the trip was to collect soil samples from different locations in the area. However, since the collecting only took a few minutes, we had plenty of time to enjoy the outdoors. And I actually liked it. On one small hike, we were able to catch a glimpse of Zions National Park and see a wonderful little waterfall. A snapshot from this hike reveals a sight only few have seen:Steven Harrison wearing a hat. Now this rare treat only occurs about once every twelve years when the conditions are right (...no shower...bad hair...the need to protect my eyes...).

Later that day, we went spelunking at the Mammoth Caves. It was an eerie feeling to turn around and see complete blackness behind you. Seriously, some creepy little creature could have totally snuck up behind me. At some parts, the cave was only 2 feet high or less so we had to crawl on all fours through mud and bat droppings.

Overall, it was a very enjoyable trip. It was great to be able to escape from my windowless lab and remember what nature is.

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was

Alright, just go ahead and ignore the last post about moving out East soon and all the other posts about Johns Hopkins. After quite a bit of thinking and looking into the program more (something I should have done months ago), I decided that the program was not really going to help me because of its lack of research oppurtunities. Sooo....I am staying put for another year, continuing my research, joining the esteemed BYU Faculty as a Visiting Research Associate, applying to a PhD program to start next Fall (so be on the lookout for another pro-con list about the potential PhD schools), and catching The House Bunny in theaters August 22nd. Should be another fun year full of TV watching, gchatting, lunching, hanging out, and working when I find the time. Yippee.

Last Trip West Before Heading East

So I haven't blogged in awhile because I have been busy taking trips to California. I figured I better get all my visits in now because it will be harder stop by once I move across the country. So here are a few photos from my trips to CA:

I wakeboarded

I golfed

I went to a Giant's game

I saw a group of segways

I went to Alcatraz

I beat up a printer

I hung out with the coolest kid ever, my nephew Shane

I saw my brother fall off a skateboard and get life-flighted out in a helicopter

Yup, my brother stepped off a skateboard and got two compound fractures in his leg. Since we were staying outside Tahoe and a hospital was a long, bumpy drive away, he got life-flighted out in a helicopter that landed next to the golf course. The landing interrupted many golfers and resulted in our family being the talk of the town for the rest of the weekend. This little accident was my brother's second hospital trip resulting from a skateboard. On a trip home one summer, my brother had a bad fall and ended up in the emergency room with a concussion. That accident happened to also be the same week I decided to jump off the roof with a sheet as a parachute and ended up in the emergency room. Ooops.