"Quit laughing at me or I'll kill you"

Well, 1 down...3 to go. In my neverending quest to finally leave Provo (seriously...I think I have left for good like 5 times now), I had my first interview for a PhD program at the Universiy of Texas at Austin. And I use the term "interview" loosely because my three interviews with faculty members consisted of chats about Mad Magazine, divorces, and beer.

But overall I really liked the city and the school. I especially liked my day with my buddy Danielle, the Tex-Mex food we shared, and Dualing Piano Bar. But mostly, I like the activities that Austinites participate in. Their time is spent either sitting and listening to music, sitting and watching movies, sitting and eating, or sitting and talking about "life" (music, food, movies, art). And if there is anything I excel at in this life it is: sitting, listening, watching, eating, and talking. So I feel that I could really fit in with Austinians.

However, I have a few complaints. First, I understand how much you love the University. It is a great campus. However, I think it is time ya'll stopped buying all your clothes at the athletic shop on campus. By the end of my three-day trip, I was really to kill the next person I saw wearing a orange shirt with longhorns.


Second, this might not be so much Austin's fault as just a problem with bars and restaurants in general, but can we please just call the bathrooms Men's or Women's? At this one bar, I saw only one bathroom door and it was labeled "Does." I really had to think for second if I was a doe because doe sounds like dude. Turns out, I was a buck. At another bar, I almost walked into "Gulls" because it sounded like guys...but turns out I am a Buoy.

My exciting tuh-rip ended with an outrageous flight home. I settled into my seat and opened up my magazine to read about how fat Jessica Simpson is (Two belts? Mom jeans? Really?). At this point almost everyone had boarded and all the overhead bin space was full. This gentleman (who obviously had the same stylist Nick Nolte used for his mugshot) then boarded the plane and tried to find room in the overhead bin for his garbage bag.


The Utahn sitting across from me jokingly said maybe he should try putting his stuff on the wing. To which Crazytrain responded by saying, "Quit laughing at me or I'll kill you." Needless to say, Homeboy was escorted off the plane while yelling "Where are you taking me?" "What are you going to do with me?" and "Is this because of the ethnicity of my skin?" (he was white).

All I can say is, if all my trips are this exciting, I am in for 3 more awesome weekends.