Young at Heart

Last night, my oldest brother Ken was telling his 3-year-old son Shane a bedtime story. In this story Ken was telling Shane that his Daddy, Uncle Matt, and Uncle Steven were all once little boys too but then grew up and went to college. At this point, Shane knew something wasn't right about this story and felt the need to interrupt and correct my brother.

"No Daddy...Steven doesn't go to college. He is still a kid like me."

What can I say...the kid knows me.

That time I thought I died...

In honor of my BFF Stephanie...since this is her favorite story about moi...


Once upon a time, Steven spent his summer of 2006 pretending to study in London. I say pretend because I only spent an hour a week in a classroom. Or less. A few days before I was suppose to fly home, the plot to blow up the planes flying from Heathrow to the U.S. was uncovered. It is because of this plot that we still cannot travel with liquids. Stupid terrorists. We were warned that the terrorists might try a different plot in London that day, so we should avoid the Tube. Since all my London friends had homework and studying, I took off by myself and had a nice little lazy walk around London. So I was walking around the city...on a street that looked like this...


My nerves were a bit heightened because of all this excitement. I suddenly heard a funny noise and turned around to see this big truck driving real fast down a narrow street. Right as the trunk was driving by me, I heard a noise that sounded like a gunshot and right then something really hard nailed me right in the back. I thought for sure I was dying. I reached around my back trying to find the blood and hole that surely was just made at the base of my spine. I kept waiting for my life to flash before my eyes and for the blackness to engulf me.

So...turns out...the truck drove over a water bottle causing the bottle to explode and the cap to hit me square in the back. Well that is what the strangers behind me told me when they stopped laughing.

And yes, as I was dying, my only thought was...I wish I watched more TV.

Life, Libertyland, and the Pursuit and Happiness

This past weekend I was able to see the Statue of Liberty, Mt. Rushmore, and the Washington Monument all without leaving Utah County. Now where could one go to see all these great sites?

LIBERTYLAND!

So if you happened to be driving on I-15 Saturday afternoon, then yes...that was me riding a roller coaster through Mt Rushmore. If you haven't been, now is the time to go. For $12, you can ride the Rush-Coaster twice, take a spin around the go-cart track, and still have enough tickets left to experience Freedom Fall. And by going on these rides, you will see ever person that works at the park...all 3 of them. The gal who worked the lever on the Freedom Fall was the same gal who pulled the lever on the slurpee machine.

My sister, cousin, and I decided we needed a full redneck day so we also went to Cabela's or as I like to call it "IKEA for hicks." Have you been there? This place has:

Fish tanks

Fake animals


George W. Bush


A shooting gallery


And lots of orange!

Now I don't wanna hear anyone complain about how there is nothing to do in Utah ever again!!

T.P. Crew

On Thursday, I decided to take a little break from my lab and run up to Thanksgiving Point to visit the J. Crew Warehouse Sale. I thought I could find a little striped or argyle beauty to add to my sweater family. Unfortunately, this warehouse sale was a major disappointment, because:

1. All the clothes looked so sad. If these same clothes had been placed on clean hangers instead, I probably would have bought more. Nothing looks good thrown into a cardboard box.

2. I cannot search for clothing. I am the worst bargain shopper. The clothes need to be placed right in front of me. My hunter/gatherer skills are just shot.

3. I have never seen so many Utah moms in one place. I cannot even begin to count all the conversations I overheard that began,"Oh my gosh, I saw on your blog..." And of course, all these moms brought their little Joyellens, Starlenes, and Brextons with them and let them run all around the store. A little Johoshua even tripped me up as I reached for a marlin swimsuit.

However, my luck changed when I found the perfect pair of sweatpants...blue, soft, and comfortable. Since I practically live in sweats, I thought these would be the perfect purchase. And they were only like $3.75.

For the rest of the day at work, all I could think about was slipping into my plush sweatpants. So the second I walked into my home, I ran into my bedroom and threw them on. But my hand suddenly felt something in my pockets. Something that was much rougher than normal pocket lining...

A KLEENEX!! BUT NOT ANY KLEENEX.....A USED, WADDED-UP, GROSS TISSUE!!! WITH STAINS!

I swear...I almost threw up! My first instinct was to throw the sweatpants into a fire and take a long shower to wash the dirty off. As my friend Rachel Zoe would say "I came THIS close to losing it today." Although I guess it wasn't a total waste. The nice mom standing in line with me gave me a 10% off coupon for friends. I am not sure why she didn't give it to her to buddy Raynette, but whatever.

TAG

Yippee! I love tags. Now I have something to blog about.

8 TV shows I watch:

1. 30 Rock (it isn't currently on...but Season 2 on DVD is)
2. Top Chef (also not currently on...but I am super amped for the new season)
3. Brothers & Sisters
4. Gossip Girl
5. Chuck
6. Mad Men
7. The Soup
8. Anything on the Food Network. Like Paula's Home Cooking, Barefoot Contessa, Ask Aida...
And the list goes on and on. Like seriously. I could easily list 30 shows here.

8 Things that happened yesterday:
1. Made an AFLP gel for work and ran some great samples
2. Had lunch at the MOA
3. Bought myself a laptop!! The new MacBook.
4. Planned a potluck for work
5. Voted! Filled out my absentee ballot
6. Tried to catch up on all my TV shows for the week
7. Made chicken and couscous for dinner
8. Let Meggan do laundry

8 of my favorite places to eat:
1. Bajio's

2. Mimi's for brunch
3. Kneaders
4. Guru's
5. India Palace
6. Cafe Rio
7. Any Thai place
8. Pendulum Court. I work on campus okay? Don't judge.


8 things I'm looking forward to:
1. Election Day. So all the insanity will stop.
2. Monday...Chuck & Gossip Girl? Doesn't get better.
3. Watching all the shows backlogged on my Tivo.
4. My laptop arriving in a few days.
5. Seeing my nephew next week
6. Seeing half of my family next month
7. The Killers and Britney's upcoming albums
8. The new Bond movie! Nov 14th!



8 things on my wish list:





1. Getting into PhD schools
2. More sweatpants and slippers
3. Bajio's delivering their food
4. A trip to Boston to visit my buddies
5. A higher thyroid dosage so I can eat more and not get plus-size
6. The ability/desire to wake up early
7. More $$$
8. Sitting in sweats all day watching TV and eating the popcorn my Mom sent me...oh wait...already doin' it

What I <4

"Why 4? Cuz it's more than 3..."

While I am not at work analyzing AFLP gels or setting up field experiments...
...this are the things I am currently lovin':

Remembering how great Chuck and Samantha Who are:
"It's not happening if you don't look at it. Like poverty."

Listening to my favorite artist of the moment, Santogold:
Which I fell in love with thanks to the awesome music found weekly on Gossip Girl (seriously...get this album):
Talking like Rachel Zoe:


"You're shutting it down..."

And obsessing over the fact that I am the same age as the old people on teen shows:Seriously, I am a few months older than the teacher on the show. Next thing I know, I will be the same age as the 30-year-old parents of the 16-year-old characters on these shows. Awesome.

Cuz I Don't Want to Miss a Thing...

My little family (which did consist of myself, argyle sweaters, polos, DVDs and 6 open Burt's Bees chapsticks), expanded this week to welcome a new little baby: TiVo!It is a decision we all have been thinking about for awhile. I had to assure my DVDs , especially the West Wing seasons, that even though our family is growing, I will continue to find time for them.

But on the plus side, I can now watch every show on my own time! No more watching missed episodes of 30 Rock or Brothers & Sisters online with commercials. As I type this, TiVo is making sure I am not missing one second of Paula Deen cooking pork chops with 3 lbs of butter, Joel McHale ridiculing the The Hills girls ("it was a hamster...now it's a guinea pig"), or Tyra actin' a fool on any of her 5 shows.

It is going to be a great Fall season! I am referring to both the argyle sweaters I can wear AND the shows I can record.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

In my new capacity as a Visiting Research Associate, I will be spending more time out of the lab and in the field. My first opportunity to journey into the wild came last week on a little trip to Southern Utah, Arizona, and Nevada. Now at first, I was a bit worried about this trip because 1. I had no idea what to wear (went with Banana shorts and an Urban top) and 2. I am not exactly an outdoorsy-type of person. I knew I was the odd man out when I was the only person on this trip not wearing Chacos and carrying a Naglene bottle. But the trip could not have gone better.

The main focus of the trip was to collect soil samples from different locations in the area. However, since the collecting only took a few minutes, we had plenty of time to enjoy the outdoors. And I actually liked it. On one small hike, we were able to catch a glimpse of Zions National Park and see a wonderful little waterfall. A snapshot from this hike reveals a sight only few have seen:Steven Harrison wearing a hat. Now this rare treat only occurs about once every twelve years when the conditions are right (...no shower...bad hair...the need to protect my eyes...).

Later that day, we went spelunking at the Mammoth Caves. It was an eerie feeling to turn around and see complete blackness behind you. Seriously, some creepy little creature could have totally snuck up behind me. At some parts, the cave was only 2 feet high or less so we had to crawl on all fours through mud and bat droppings.

Overall, it was a very enjoyable trip. It was great to be able to escape from my windowless lab and remember what nature is.

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was

Alright, just go ahead and ignore the last post about moving out East soon and all the other posts about Johns Hopkins. After quite a bit of thinking and looking into the program more (something I should have done months ago), I decided that the program was not really going to help me because of its lack of research oppurtunities. Sooo....I am staying put for another year, continuing my research, joining the esteemed BYU Faculty as a Visiting Research Associate, applying to a PhD program to start next Fall (so be on the lookout for another pro-con list about the potential PhD schools), and catching The House Bunny in theaters August 22nd. Should be another fun year full of TV watching, gchatting, lunching, hanging out, and working when I find the time. Yippee.

Last Trip West Before Heading East

So I haven't blogged in awhile because I have been busy taking trips to California. I figured I better get all my visits in now because it will be harder stop by once I move across the country. So here are a few photos from my trips to CA:

I wakeboarded

I golfed

I went to a Giant's game

I saw a group of segways

I went to Alcatraz

I beat up a printer

I hung out with the coolest kid ever, my nephew Shane

I saw my brother fall off a skateboard and get life-flighted out in a helicopter

Yup, my brother stepped off a skateboard and got two compound fractures in his leg. Since we were staying outside Tahoe and a hospital was a long, bumpy drive away, he got life-flighted out in a helicopter that landed next to the golf course. The landing interrupted many golfers and resulted in our family being the talk of the town for the rest of the weekend. This little accident was my brother's second hospital trip resulting from a skateboard. On a trip home one summer, my brother had a bad fall and ended up in the emergency room with a concussion. That accident happened to also be the same week I decided to jump off the roof with a sheet as a parachute and ended up in the emergency room. Ooops.

TV-On-DVD Man

When I was younger, I was obsessed with X-Men and their powers (but I never read the comics...honest...I only watched the show and played with the action figures). I sincerely believed that if I tried hard enough, I too could have mutant powers. For hours at a time, I would try moving the TV remote from across the room to my hand by sheer will. All I had to show for that were headaches from staring at the remote all cross eye for too long.

After watching a superhero movie the other night, I got to thinking about mutant powers again. As a diploma-ed geneticist, I reasoned that not all mutations could be used in a fight, like the X-Men. I mean how you are going to fight alongside Wolverine's animal claws when your mutant power is making animal calls? Will your ability to boil water in a watched pot or the power to do long division in your head really keep the evil forces away? It is like that poor kid on Captain Planet that fought with the power of Heart while everyone else had Earth, Wind, or Fire. Lame.

I realized that I too have one of these non-fighting mutant powers. I have the ability to watch TV shows on DVD quicker than anyone else. I am being serious. I have the uncanny ability to make any show fix the schedule I want. I may have to leave for campus in 17 minutes, yet some how I am able to watch a 22 minute Will & Grace episode before leaving. I swear I can watch 4 episodes of the West Wing in the time it takes most people to watch 3 episodes.

The picture at the top is one I took in London almost 2 years ago with Bryan Singer, the director of the X-Men and Superman Returns movies. At first I had no idea who he was, so I called over some official-looking woman to find out. After demanding to know if she was famous too, I was informed it was him. I see it as proof of my evolutionary progress.

As I once told my Dad when he said I was self centered and demanding, "yes, Dad, I do believe that the world evolves around me."

The Rest is Still Unwritten

While interning in D.C., my fellow interns and I would spend hours on gchat talking about important issues, such as which other intern lost the TV remote and if for dinner we should go to Thai Palace or Taj of India. One morning, after watching a fresh episode of the Hills, we started talking about how funny it would be if MTV made a reality show in D.C. about the lives of interns called "The Hill." We laughed about our clever idea for awhile and discussed which of us would be on the show. I mean how funny would it be to watch two staffers run into each other in the Capitol and yell at each other "You're a sucky person...you're a sucky person" or "You know what you did...YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!"

I swear...MTV was listening. According to this article by Perez, my joke might become a reality! But on the bright side...since I am moving back to D.C. maybe I can find a way to be on the show! I can be an East Coast Audrina.

And yes, this does answer the question I posted earlier about what college to attend. I will be attending Johns Hopkins this Fall in Washington D.C. And yes, it is Johns not John. I was talking to an academic advisor there the other day and I thought he had a lisp...but no. It is Johns.

Now only if MTV would listen up when I talk about bringing Undressed back...

Tegan & Sara and Brian & Corey & Steven

Where does the good go? To Thanksgiving Point to see Tegan & Sara, of course! And I feel in love with them even more when Sara said "if we weren't here, we would be at home in sweatpants watching TV" because THAT'S WHAT I DO.

License to Drive

While I was home in California a few weeks ago, I decided to get a new driver's license picture since my license was up for renewal. My old picture featured a fatter, shinier Steven. And while I do enjoy using the old picture to prove I use to be "husky", it was definitely time for a new one.

So I journeyed down to the local DMV and spent about an hour waiting for them to take my picture. Having my cell phone with me, I spent the hour texting my frustration about being at the DMV (like "wow...the dmv only employs god's chosen people" and "The guy next to me is cleaning his glasses with his tongue").

When it came my turn, I stopped texting, tucked my phone in my pocket, and tried to look as normal as possible. Right as the lady was about the click and take my picture, someone texted me back causing my phone to vibrate. Without thinking, I went to get my phone right as the picture took. I wasn't able to see the picture at the time, but the lady that took it giggled when it popped up on her screen. I knew this was going to be a good one.

Well, now I know what I look like right before I answer the phone.

Into the Wild

For the past 2 years, I have been researching the genetic diveristy of the endangered species plant Phacelia argillacea. However, to get my research published, I needed samples from this year's population to compare to the rest. So last Friday, I left my lab coat and gloves at home and threw on some old Levi's and New Balances (which I believe have seen the outside maybe twice) and went to the Spanish Fork Canyon (the only place in the world where you can find this plant).

We ran into two major problems while trying to find these little guys:

1. This plant grows only on the steep shale cliffs, so getting to the populations was a little difficult. Yes, I had to hike up cliffs like this:

2. This plant definitely deserves the "Endangered Species" title. Research shows there are only about 30 of these plants left. We spent hours climbing up and down cliffs trying to find these small plants.

In the end, we were able to find enough to continue the study and hopefully work towards reintroducing the plant in the future. I even scored a picture with the my plant. (Note: my shirt has a picture of a milkman and reads, "Who's Your Daddy?....I can find out....BYU Genetics)

The downside was that since I am actually allegric to plants and nature, I then spent the rest of the weekend in bed with a horrible sinus infection. Well, except for trips to El Azteca, Blockbuster, Einstein's, Target, The Dollar Theater, and Cracker Barrell. What?? I'm not an invalid.

"Good Morning Baltimore" or "I Think I'll Go to Boston"

Now that I have been accepted to both Northeastern (Boston) and Johns Hopkins (Baltimore), I need to decided which is the better fit. If Johns Hopkins was in Boston, this would not even be a contest. So here are my pros and cons for each:

Boston

Pros: Ka-Ryn and Stephanie live there, the accent, loads of fun college kids, I love Good Will Hunting and The Departed, better neighborhoods, living in Boston is better than Baltimore

Cons: Pretending to care more about Boston teams, loads of SMART college kids

Baltimore

Pros: Drugs, having black friends I can watch Tyler Perry movies with, visiting the bakery Charm City Cakes from Aces of Cakes, dancing at the Maryland School of Arts with the Step Up kids, Alison and David might move there

Cons: Drugs, crime, telling people I live in Baltimore

Dieting

me: so how is your diet going? lets say whoever starves themselves and dies...wins

Meggan: omg I love that idea I am so damn cranky

me: me too! i had raisens and soy milk for breakfast

Meggan: I have had a lemon propel

me: thats ALLL? you are totally winning

Meggan: ...except for I'm going to be so starving by 10 tonight that I'm going to binge like crazy. that'll be fun

me: i do that too! i am good all day and then come home and eat everything i can find

Meggan: that is what is worrying me the most I'm going home for lunch in a minute to fix a sammich

me: but if you only have healthy food at home...that it is okay to binge...right?

Meggan: I don't really know, I'm new to this healthy world

me: i mean, i am sure binging on flax seed and yams is okay

Meggan: I want to kill myself

me: hahaha i am thinking surgery is more practical for me then dieting

Meggan: amen

me: how much do you think it runs? and which is better...lipo or stapling your stomach?


Meggan: if I had to guess, I would say that the most drastic results happen when you do both

me: maybe they have a 2 or 1 deal...like Payless

Meggan: BOGO

me: yup

Meggan: I want you to post this conversation on your blog

me: haha. maybe i will

R.I.P. Brock

The world's best dog, Broccoli Florets Harrison aka Brock, passed away today.

Anyone wanna watch "All Dogs Go to Heaven" with me?